When she closed her eyes, it all went away. All the anger, the hurt and conflict disappeared. She was on her own, and happier that way. No unwanted advice, casual eye-rolls or nasty comments. No one to stop her, no one to flash rude glances as she took a second helping. No calendars with underlined days, marking work-outs and diet plans. No questioning looks when she held up a short dress at a store. No early morning walks or loud alarm clocks. No, when she closed her eyes, it was all different. For then she was in a world of her own creation. A world where her weight wasn’t the first thing people noticed about her. They noticed her brown eyes, or her raven black hair. They noticed the way she always smiled at strangers, or the way she doodled on tissue paper. They noticed her sense of style or how she had winged her eyeliner right. It was a world where she was appreciated and loved, not despite, but irrespective of her weight. It was a world in her dreams, she knew. It was an almost impossible world, this too, she knew. And yet, she closed her eyes.


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