I want to be so much.
I want to be strong and independent and I also want to be cared for and pampered. I want to be productive, helpful and efficient. I want to live a life filled with every possible happiness and my fair share of sadness as well. I want to experience elation and joy and I also want to experience extremely low periods of anxiety and sadness. I want to push through my problems and I want to rise and fall and get up and fall back again. I want to keep trying all my life to be the best version of myself. I want to be comfortable depending on someone. I want commitment and promises. And I also want independence and freedom. I want to make my own happiness and not depend on someone for it. I want to be able to be secure and free and be able to give the same feeling to someone else as well. I don’t want you to stop me from falling. I don’t want you to shield me and protect me. I want you to be there after I have fallen, after I’ve hit myself smack on the head. I want you to be there for me then. Push me to be better. Push me to work harder and then give me the space to do that myself. I want to be strong and manage my own affairs and at times I also want to cry and be vulnerable. I want to build my own dreams. I want to experience love, all forms of love, and heartbreak and passion and madness. I want to be a lifetime of contradictory statements.